2014: Learn to Fail
Take risks. Be bold. Live intentionally. However you want to phrase it, it pretty much boils down to the same thing. Instead of sitting around thinking about what you would love to do, get up and start doing it. So simple…and yet so very, very hard to do sometimes.
A few days ago, I shared my goals from last year. And while I feel like I pretty much rocked them (go me!), there was one that didn’t go quite as planned – take risks. This year, instead of making a whole list of goals, I’ve decided to focus on one thing: being bold. And when you get right down to the heart of the matter, being bold really means being okay with failing. You see, I have a horrible pattern.
I’ve spent some time wondering why this happens and I think it all comes down to fear. Namely, the fear of failure. You see, I am a terrible perfectionist. If I don’t think something is going to work out, I don’t want to waste my time trying. You may have noticed, there hasn’t been nearly as much DIY happening lately at Lovely Etc. Because I have very limited time for DIY, I want to make sure I don’t waste a moment of it. So I don’t start any projects unless I know they are going to turn out perfectly…which means, I pretty much don’t start anything. Lame.
The same thing happens in other parts of my life. I want to take a really cool vacation… but we probably won’t be able to afford it, so why even try. Or I want to get together with friends I haven’t seen in awhile…but I’m sure they are busy so just forget it. Or I want to paint the ceiling an awesome color…but it probably won’t turn out that great anyway, so why bother. Seriously. When I write it out like that, it seems like about the dumbest way to live imaginable. But I tell myself those things all the time.
This year, my goal is to learn to fail. To learn that it is really okay to try for something awesome and end up with something awful. It is easy to make sure you never, ever fail at anything. But when you do that, you miss out on pretty much everything great. I’m done with mediocre. I’m ready for lots of awesome. And a bit of awful as well.
Who’s with me?
Wow, Carrie, it’s like you are inside my head! Eeerie ….
That same Great Idea Lifecycle happens to me almost daily, to the point that nobody takes my ideas seriously — not even myself. I’m going to try to spend a little time today (hunkered down here during a blizzard) to try to find the essence of what I want to accomplish, write it down and take at least one chance this year. No sky diving or anything, but I’m going to force myself to do at least one amazing thing.
There is no try, there is just do.
Laura, sounds like a great idea – and a snowy day is the perfect day for it. One amazing thing is definitely doable. And I love your Yoda quote at the end – my husband tells me that all the time.
learn to fail and don’t fear it! that is a huge step, but failure often means not failing but just reassessing and making a new path!
Thanks Cassie – you are so right!
I love this- what’s the worst that can happen when we push put out of our comfort zones? usually not anything that we can’t fix. Thanks for the inspiration Carrie:)
Thanks Krista! You are right – and honestly, it seems like my very best projects are the result of mistakes. Which makes it extra crazy for me to be afraid of making mistakes!
Wow, this really hits home for me. I’m such a perfectionist, and I know that has been such a barrier between me and my art. I even had a college theatre professor tell me that in my first scene in front of the class, I should aim to be “ordinary and unimpressive.” It kind of blew me away because it’s so counter-intuitive. But he knew that if I intentionally FAILED (as you are striving to do), I would free myself of this insane standard I have set for myself. And I’d uncover some really beautiful things about acting. Which I did. He was totally right. And I trust this exercise will be just as valuable for you in 2014.
Fail, Carrie! Fail big time!
Thanks Lauren – you are definitely right. I am a major perfectionist too and it really holds me back. But not anymore! I’m going all in, no matter how it turns out.
You really nailed it for me as well with this post. I’ve been working on building my own music studio up again after it failed after moving to a different city. I read something that said you should actually try to get 30 rejections in 30 days. It seemed crazy, but the reasoning is you might get some acceptances in there as well, and if you actually try for 30 rejections, by the time you’re done a rejection can be taken in stride, not like a giant FAILURE stamp on your forehead, which is how I used to feel. I’m not quite there yet, but slowly making progress, and taking a few more risks.
Wow to you for having your own music studio! I can only imagine how much work that takes! That 30 failures in 30 days really isn’t a bad idea. It seems like so many times I talk myself out of even attempting things because I think they won’t work out anyway. But even if only one out of thirty actually worked, I would be so much better off!